Wednesday, February 13, 2013

The Giant Puss Sack

Made By Sam Hebbe
One day at work I was at my usual pace of speed when my college assistant ran in burnt down the door with the emergency flamethrower and she yells at me saying,"We got a ten sixty nine we need you stat!" I run into the emergency room seeing a girl with the biggest most horrific thing I had ever seen. The toe was so purple and brown and it had inflamed to the size of an average laptop. When I took off her sock yellow puss just started spewing everywhere. We sedated her with chloroform. Next was the tricky part my assistant is supposed to cut it open but just drawing where we had to cut made her instantly vomit I knew at that time it was up to me. At first I didn't know how to approach it but then I realized I just had to cut it open. The first slice with the scalpel was okay but then we found out there was another layer the substance was almost like fresh cow dung, so I cut into that. Then out came the puss it was just spewing and squirting everywhere once again in fact some even went into my mouth. Long story short we got her a fake toe and we finally got all the puke and puss cleaned up but after the surgery the girl asked," Didn't that just gross you out weren't you shocked at the size of my toe?" I want to say yes but I knew I couldn't because i'm a real man so I said the thing that was most manly and this is what I said to her," Of course not i'm a scientist!" She insisted I was a doctor but I threatened to make her pass out then tie to a street sign with the big puss, toe sack over her head. Guess what I got to do that day? Make a girl pass out then tie her to a street sign with the big puss, toe sack over her head.


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